May 7, 2016

A Moment for my Mother

a letter

To the woman who has given me everything, thank you. 

Growing up, I would ask you what I thought were simple questions. Why do you stay at home with us? Why don't you barrel race anymore? Because, as a toddler, that's what children do. Ask anything and everything to gain some semblance of an understanding. 

To my questions you would always say, "Because I love you. You'll understand someday." An answer that often was answered with nods and other quiet responses because not only did I not understand your response, but I didn't know why I couldn't understand at that moment.

I continue to grow up and try to master this terribly difficult verb we call adulting (I can't make it stop), and I come to you with the days issues or joys and we chat over how to love the day no matter what it brought us. You constantly counsel and worry and celebrate right along with Emily and myself just as any of the day's events had happened to your very self. You selflessly love and give. When I was younger, I thought this was something that only appeared on cards and all mothers did; I had no idea how incredibly blessed we were that you were in fact the perfect version of a Hallmark Mother. 

You are the epitome of sacrifice. As I attempt to have a career of my own and try to master the ever challenging balancing act of work-family-friends-fun, I am learning. Learning of course how to do all those things and try to do them well, but especially learning just exactly how much you gave up for us to give us everything we have, mind, body and soul. You know my schedule, Mom. I work most of the time, drink a lot of coffee, and devote too much time to my dogs. To drop everything I have known and loved for this small portion of time I know as my adulthood would be incredibly difficult, to say the least. 

I know that nothing can repay you for everything you have done for Emily and me. There is nothing we can say a thousand times to amount to the love you gave, nor nothing we can do in any amount of repitition that would equal the sacrifice and effort you put forth to make us exactly who we are today. The only things we can do is to thank you and attempt in brunch-and-card fashion to show the appreciation we hold every day in our hearts. Maybe we'll understand someday when we are mothers and show the world exactly what you taught us. 

Thank you for being you, Mom. I'm thankful for you every single day. 

I love you. 

Cheers to you, Mom, and every wonderful thing you are,